Slowly becoming more active again in 2010

I haven't been blogging in a while. Returning back to a full teaching schedule has not been easy. Fatigue just sets in whether I like it or not. I've been pacing myself more, with much fewer activities - self-preservation someone calls it.

But life still has to be lived. As I look back at my photos taken after I returned to work till end of 2010, I realise that sub-consciously I have been re-prioritising my life. God, family and friends are of utmost importance to me now. Below are some photo memories of the rest of 2010.

SOM Reunion 29 Aug 2010

Fried Rice Paradise, Esplanade 12 Sep 2010

Singapore Flyer 13 Nov 2010

Christmas with family 2010

Christmas with friends 2010

Truly, I must learn to LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE.

Back to Work

After being away from work since 24 May, it's really good to be back at work! Praise the Lord! :)

Back to JWC

It's great to be back in the choir serving the Lord!

And it was great to be able to meet up with my Primary 1 form teacher - Mrs Goh Beng Teik in church!

Michelle's family's Baptism

It was really great to be able to witness Michelle and her family taking a public stand of faith for the Lord.

Back to Anglican High School

There's this Chinese saying - "ying shui si yuan" - "when you drink, remember the source of your water."

It was good to be able to return to my secondary school and to say hello to a few of my teachers - tan lao shi, Mrs Koh/Ms Foo and Mrs Janet Koh. Many other familiar faces have retired and other than the clock tower which looks the same, most of the buildings look different.

Extended Family

Family is important, even the extended family. They are there for you in time of need and joy!

Cradled by God's Arms (7)

A New Lease of Life

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
1 Chron 16:34

Arise, shine; for your light is come,
and the glory of Yahweh is risen on you.
Isa 60:1

Surely I have stilled and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with his mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within.
Ps 131:2

Life will never be the same again, with one kidney short. But God has granted me a new lease of life in which I have chosen to rejoice and be glad.

With a grateful heart unto God Almighty, my family held a thanksgiving dinner on 27 June for our relatives at the Changi Rise function room. We could not keep God’s goodness to ourselves – we just wanted to share how amazing God’s love is and how God saw me through the entire ordeal and miraculously healed me.

In the days to come, I will continue to trust in God and be cradled in His arms, enveloped by His love, knowing that He loves me just so very much.

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Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Eph 3:20-21

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Cradled by God's Arms (6)

Home Sweet Home

With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.
Ps 18:29

It was a real challenge to be able to get in and out of the hospital bed with ease and without undue stress - trying to get out on the right side of the bed meant that I had to lie on the wound and trying to get out on the left side meant that I had to strain the muscles on the right. Whichever way it was, I just didn’t want to get out of bed which meant that I couldn’t go home.

Finally, after getting certificates of commendation for bravery (awarded by the family, of course) for being able to get out of the hospital bed and being able to move around more, I was ready to be discharged on 9 June.

The familiar sight of my apartment and my bed was comforting. It was great to be home!
Phoebe and Asher came to visit me that first evening at home. When Phoebe first saw me, she ran and hugged my legs to my astonishment. Later on I learnt that she was told not to hug me in the usual fashion and she requested to hug me by the legs like Pinggu the Penguin. So cute…What she did next was even more heart-warming - she snuggled next to me on the sofa and said in all innocence, “I am so glad you are back, Yiyi!”. 2½-year-old Asher just did his usual little dance in front of me. I guess that’s his way of saying he was glad too.

A cosy home and children are such joy-bearers.

With joy in my heart and the strength the Lord gave, I recovered well, further fattened by nourishing food cooked with tender loving care. Gradually I could venture a few steps out of the house into the fresh air.

Cradled by God's Arms (5)

Angels at Work

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
Ps 91:11-12

God knew I needed lots of encouragement and He sent human angels who came in various forms.

The first one arrived in the form of a nurse named Irene in the Recovery Room after the surgery. When she saw that I was in extreme pain upon regaining consciousness, she offered to pray for me. As she prayed for God to relieve me of my pain, I drifted off into unconsciousness. I did not get to see who she was and am unlikely to ever see her again.

The next few are familiar faces – Cora, my helper, who was with me practically the whole time attentively seeing to all my needs; Marianne, my sister, who took leave from work for three entire days and kept me amused with her nonsense, her food offerings and a helium balloon; Mum who produced some nutritious home-cooked soup everyday; Dad who kept me company with his body bent over the newspapers and Elaine who force-fed me my very first meal of chicken porridge on her off-day.

The next two angels are familiar but unexpected daily visitors – Violet and Chi Chin who faithfully popped by just to check on my progress and to cheer me up with their smiles.

Cradled by God's Arms (4)

Days of Whine & Roses

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Ps 46:1


Gradually the pain in the shoulders eased that first evening as the heat and weight of the hot water bottles kicked in. Apparently my vocabulary was reduced to only one word – “pain” and it was uttered often and only in a monotone – an anguished one.

The first two days passed in a blur – I only had vague memories of concerned faces peering at me while I drifted in and out of consciousness. The pain was excruciating at times, especially when the pain-killers did not seem to work. My brows were knotted and my eyes were mostly closed. The acceptance of the offer of being cleaned and sponged increased the pain quotient. I knew Jesus understood my inexplicable pain – the pain He went through on the cross as a ransom for me was far more excruciating.

On the third day I was more aware of the environment and the fact that I had a 22cm long sickle-shaped battle scar to show that I had completed the climb and had emerged victorious. For the rest of my 9-day hospital stay, a steady stream of visitors, the cheery flowers, the hand-drawn cards by Phoebe and Asher and inspiring music from my iPod kept me company, kept me distracted from the pain and kept my spirits up.

Finally the histology report arrived on 5 June. It was the best news one could ever get. The tumour was contained and the cell type – chromophobe renal cell carcinoma is the least malignant of the entire spectrum of malignant cell types. Therefore, I did not need to receive any further therapy from henceforth. Hallelujah! God is indeed Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.

Cradled by God's Arms (3)

Day of Operation

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Ps 23:4

31 May arrived. I woke up with a kind of peace that was beyond comprehension. In fact, what awaited me all seemed like a little adventure.

With the entire family in tow (Marianne and Joshua took leave from work), we arrived at James’ clinic at 10am and met Cindy and Samantha there. James agreed to do an ultrasound scan before the op though it was not the norm – I guess we were just hopeful that the tumour would just disappear because with God nothing is impossible.

But it was not meant to be and the adventure had to continue.

So I checked into Mt. Elizabeth Hospital (a.k.a. Orchard Chalet) and started my mountain experience. It was then that Jeany and Sophia joined us in the climb at the registration counter.

Once we entered the ward, we prayed conversationally and committed the entire hospital stay and the surgery into God’s hands. At about 2pm, I changed into the hospital gown, cheerfully waved good bye and quietly laid on the trolley bed. While being wheeled to the operating theatre, I closed my eyes and prayed Psalm 23 with a certain calmness in my heart. I was still accompanied by the entourage at this part of the climb and when I waved a final good bye as the doors of the operating theatre separated us, a teardrop was witnessed glistening from the corner of my eye.

It was just Jesus, my best friend, who could keep me company from then onwards. In a while, the anesthetist, Dr Seow, came, introduced herself, and confirmed epidural as my choice of pain management. I was transferred out of the trolley bed onto the operating table and I had to lie on my side while something cold was inserted into my spine and then a mask put on my face and before long, the sights and sounds of the operating theatre faded into nothingness.

The next time I knew consciousness, I was in great pain – the pain was most keenly felt in my shoulders. I was also feeling extremely cold – I was shuddering and I felt the tightness of my teeth being clenched together. I remembered muttering, “I wanna go home!” to Dr Seow, whose voice I heard in the background.

Cradled by God's Arms (2)

Pre-op Preparation & Parties

say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come… he will come to save you."
Isa 35:4

If truth be told, I teared almost all the way home in Cindy’s car as family members and bosses were informed. I guess it was fear of the impending op. Perhaps it was fear that the tumour could be malignant. Or perhaps it was just the way one should behave when bad news was received.

Once the emotions were under control, the rational mind clicked into place. I knew deep inside that God was in charge and He had allowed for this medical ordeal to take place for His purpose and He will save me. Then I started to calmly write down a list of things that needed to be done.

List outstanding duties and inform appropriate persons. Check.
Inform good friends. Check.
Garner prayer support. Check.
Declutter soulish issues. Check.
Look for insurance documents. Check.
Look for will. Will? Where’s my will?
Go for bone scan. Check.

The bone scan was an interesting experience – I was injected with radioactive tracers and was told not be go near children under 8 for a day. Hmm.... Spiderwoman in the making? Would I glow in the dark? Anyway, curiosity got better of me as I peeped at the report of the bone scan before arriving at James’ clinic - three hotspots in the ribs stared blankly back at me. James was puzzled. He consulted three different radiologists before arriving at the conclusion that the hotspots were likely fractures due to the cough. So the op was finally set for 31 May.

While all these were taking place, the Support Alice Network (SAN) was birthed. Friends and family rallied round in support in the best way they knew how – parties! They really knew how to make my belly happy – I feasted on wasabi prawns, cold crab, sashimi, saba shioyaki, beef rendang, shashlik, dim sum, MOS burger, Carl’s Junior, famous baos and chicken from Toa Payoh … it was truly a celebration of life!

Food for the soul was also not forgotten. Comforting SMSes were received, encouraging phone calls were received and Facebook entries were posted. Heartfelt cries to God the Healer were uttered. Brickers gathered at my apartment on 23 May to stand with my family in prayer. Friends in Israel, America and Australia were mobilized to pray. An entire school led by Pastor Moses in Nagaland, India also prayed for God’s mercy and healing.

Alas, one final step was needed before the op – a bowel cleanout. Unpalatable Fleet was consumed unwillingly under the concerned eyes of Violet on the evening before the op. With a heart focused on God and an empty bowel, I was then truly set for the op.

Cradled by God's Arms (1)

Swollen kidney

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

“Swollen kidney?!?”, I asked in a puzzled manner as the nurse on the other end of the line tried to inform me that the doctor had seen the CT scan of my lungs and I needed to see a urologist on 29 June 2010.

“There’s nothing wrong with my lungs but instead it was my kidney?” This bit of news was more than a little disturbing as googling “swollen kidney” did not reveal much and 29 June was more than a month away.

It was 19 May and I had been coughing since 15 March when I was in Israel. The cough didn’t get better even after visiting various doctors on at least eight occasions. My whole body was racked by the prolonged cough so much that I felt I had bruised ribs. Finally the Respiratory Medicine Consultant ordered a CT scan of the lungs to see what the matter was on 12 May.

A phone-call to my cousin James who is a urologist that very night meant that a CT scan of the kidney was arranged two days later to find out what it meant to have a swollen kidney.

21 May arrived and Cindy kindly accompanied me for the CT scan and the visit to James’ clinic. It was a long wait at James’ clinic from about 4.30pm and we were the last people left in the clinic as the day drew to a close. We sat quietly, reading, occasionally exchanging a few words – perhaps we were just being optimistic.

“…a tumour on the right kidney … about 10cm … 95% malignant … op needed a.s.a.p…no way to save the kidney…go on medical leave immediately…” the words slowly sank in as James pointed out the significant findings of the CT scan images in his office while tears started brimming in my eyes.

My story - Cradled by God's Arms

I've been thinking how I should be recording my entire medical experience. I have had so many visitors and I have been so encouraged by their presence which reminds me of God's love for me. 

Finally I decided on a narrative as I really wanted to share with my friends how God saw me through the entire medical ordeal through my eyes.

I started out by thinking of sub-titles, the key ideas I want reflected and the key events I want recorded. God's love is indeed so overwhelming that it inspired me to eventually produce more than 2000 words over a 9-day period.

I'm now putting the final touches before it "goes to print".

Asher goes to school

Look at the boy! He looks so grown up in his uniform... Awww... he is no longer a baby, he has started going to pre-nursery! :)

Orchard Chalet

I was diagnosed as having kidney tumour on 21 May and needed a surgery to remove the entire right kidney. I was admitted to Mt Elizabeth Hospital on 31 May and had the surgery that very day. Thank God He prepared me well for the ordeal and I was discharged on 9 June, looking none the worse.

Details of the entire ordeal had been journaled and will be blogged eventually.

Phoebe turns 6!

Phoebe is 6! Look at that cheeky face!

Time flies... she was just a little baby, then a toddler ... and next year, she will be in P1!

Melbourne

Samantha and I made a short trip to Melbourne from 9 to 12 April.

It was great to be able to see the 12 Apostles and travel along the Great Ocean Road.

Easter 2010: Post-Israel

"God digs deep in us. With each digging, the soil of our soul is turned over, aerated where Spirit fills with sweet healing breath, ready to spring forth life.

Each of us experiences loss in profoundly personal and different ways. The teaching, the jewels of Life, are found in those deep dark crevices. If only we let Him dig for them.

The suffering and the glory, so bound up with each other that we don't know where one begins and the other ends. This is the mystery, the celebration, the death and resurrection."

God is working on me and I have so much to learn and I feel so loved this Easter because of His love for me. :) Having a deeper understanding of what took place on Maundy Thursday at the Garden of Gethsamane, on Good Friday at Golgotha and Easter Sunday at the Garden Tomb, I just feel so loved.

Jesus did not have to suffer and die on the cross but He chose to do so for our sake. The Father was so grieved that He tore His clothes (that is, the veil to the Holy of Holies was torn) and He too died as Christ did die. And because Christ is risen, I also have the same resurrection power to go forth.

Israel: 5 - 18 Mar 2010

I joined the Mt Carmel School of Ministry and walked where Jesus walked. I learnt many lessons and the Bible came alive for me in the Land of Milk and Honey. The names of places now carry special significance - the Valley of Jezreel, Capernaum, Galilee, Caesarea Philippi, Jerusalem etc.

We need to pray for the peace of Jerusalem!

At the back of my mind, I've always wanted to go on a trip like this since 2007 and I am glad God fulfilled the desires of my heart.

Check out:

http://wunderland-wunderings.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html

Chingay

I had a whale of a time at the Chingay! The colours, the noise, the electrifying atmosphere... Words can't encapsulate the experience.

Thanks, N.G.!

Alto Party

The Alto section had a popiah party at Lay Nee's place. It was our very first Alto gathering thus far - Alto Power!